Kenny Gets Laid
by Kinkajouu
Summary: It’s Kenny’s birthday, and the gang throw him a party! But Tala and Kai have a little surprise in store for him... Oneshot, mentions of sex, silliness, pointlessness.


+ It's Kenny's birthday, and the gang throw him a party! But Tala and Kai have a little surprise in store for him... Oneshot.

+ Warnings: Sex references, silliness, etc.

+ Disclaimer: I own it not.

+ A/N: This is short, and it's mainly to get me back into writing again. Oh, also written for Kenny's birthday - which was on the 10th of September. LOL.

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**Kenny Gets Laid**

"Happy birthday to youuuu, you live in a zoo-"

"No I don't."

"- You look like a moonkeeeyyy-"

"Do I?"

"- Aaaaaanndd, you smell like one, too!"

"Tyson, it's my birthday! You can't insult me on my birthday!"

"Ah, chillax, Kenneth! It's just a joke and a song. A jong, if you like."

Kenny rolled his eyes at his friend, and took a sip of his drink. Max, Tyson and Ray had insisted on throwing Kenny a party for his birthday. Kenny hadn't really wanted one, but you _do not_ say 'no' to Tyson and Max. Of course, they had both invited every single person they knew, but luckily for Kenny, a lot hadn't turned up.

He tried to ignore the fact that this meant he wasn't as loved as the others.

Still, a few people had turned up. Mathilda, Miguel, Emily, Daichi, Hilary and Mariah had come, and even Tala turned up, though Kenny suspected that was because Kai was here. Those two seemed somewhat inseparable.

"Time for presents!" Tyson yelled.

"No, jelly and ice cream competition!" Max also yelled.

"CAAAAKE!" Daichi screamed, launching himself at the chocolate cake on the table. Luckily, Hilary grabbed him before he reached it.

Kenny sighed. This was definitely a birthday he was going to want to forget.

"Max, we don't have any jelly, so we'll have to do the cake," Mariah said, as Ray and Hilary started lighting the candles.

Max looked horrified at hearing there was no jelly, and Tyson looked horrified at hearing that they were going to do the cake first. Kenny was pushed in front of the cake, ready to blow out the candles. He didn't know if he was going to manage it, as the candles seemed to be on fire more than they should...

Everyone began singing 'Happy Birthday' normally (other than Max, who was singing it in an operatic voice), and Kenny just wished the whole thing to hurry up so everyone could leave and he could go back to his beloved computer. Once the singing was over (thank Bryan), Kenny blew out his candles, and everyone clapped.

"Make a wish!" Tyson shouted.

"Yeah, and wish _hard_, Kenny," Tala said, giving a little wink. This gained him a nudge and a frown from Kai.

Well, it wasn't difficult for Kenny to think of his wish. He'd wished for a chance to get into Ming-Ming's pants for the past three of his birthdays, and this one was not going to be different. Kenny closed his eyes, and made his wish. As he was doing this, Tala and Kai quickly opened the closet door, ungagged and untied Ming-Ming and nearly died laughing at the look on Kenny's face when he opened his eyes.

"What was Ming-Ming doing in my closet?!" he screeched, pointing at Ming-Ming.

"Yeah, what _was_ Ming-Ming doing in his closet?" Tyson and Max asked, looking at Tala and Kai.

"Well, we knew what Kenny's wish would be, so we decided to make it come true," Tala shrugged.

"You guys are not paying me enough for this..." Ming-Ming muttered under her breath.

"You know what you have to do to get the whole lot," Tala muttered back to her.

"Anyway, as Kenny will probably want to enjoy his 'gift', I think we had better leave," Kai said, beginning to usher the party-goers out.

"What? Wait! Gift? She's my gift?!" Kenny asked, just as Tala and Kai reached the front door.

"Enjoy," Tala said, grinning and winking.

As the door closed behind the troupe, Kenny could only glance back and forth from the door they had just exited from to Ming-Ming. Ming-Ming was looking at her feet, and twiddling her thumbs nervously.

"So, uh... why are you here again?" Kenny asked.

"Tala and Kai have paid me to have sex with you. But they've only given me half the money, and will give me the rest after I _actually_ sleep with you. The bastards..." Ming-Ming replied.

Kenny couldn't believe his ears.

"So, we'd better get this over and done with," Ming-Ming said, taking Kenny's hand and leading him up the stairs. "I suppose if I close my eyes and imagine hard enough, I could vision that you're Tom Cruise or something."

Kenny just stared at the back of the girl. He was going to have sex. With the girl of his dreams. It really was a dream come true, except he didn't like the fact that Tala and Kai had to _pay_ her to do this.

When the dirty deed was finally done three quarters of an hour later, Kenny couldn't believe it. He'd finally gotten laid.

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+ A/N: Pointless, crapness, reviews not needed. In fact, skip reviewing, and just go and write something more decent than this! XD


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